Recent anthropological interest in sexuality has been closely related to symbolic constructions of gender in different societies. Most studies explore the cultural constitution of sexual meanings without addressing how sex is experienced by actors. Material from the Bumbita Arapesh of the East Sepik Province of Papua New Guinea reveals that the local cultural ideology of male sexual domination does not adequately describe actual sexual experiences of Bumbita men and women. Cultural ideology states that men control sexual encounters as a part of their masculine essence, yet in actual marriages women often take the initiative in limiting sexual practice following postpartum prohibitions. Contrary to cultural expectations, men exhibit anxiety concerning sexual relations in a marriage. The public assertion of sexual dominance and suppression of sexual intimacy compensate for a sense of vulnerability accompanying sexual experience. An analytical distinction between "cultural ideology" and "individual experience" helps clarify the climate of sexual relationships in a cultural context.